Yes, we are indeed big time dreamers.

30 Desember, 2009, 11.19 P.M.

An oath, a pact, was made between pink piggy and black piggy.

Yes yes, call us so dreamy, call us naive,

call us "they-still-dunno-how-tough-real-world-is"

But i, we, believe in the power of dreams, and prayers.

I will definitely remember today.

Like i tweeted few days ago,

"If i'm going to be someone, someday,

i believe it's all because of the great people around me."

Off i go,

the-very-excited-about-2010, muSHAdool.

Quote of the day.

"Don't blame other people for running too fast,

better think why you don't run fast enough."

-muSHAdool-

Quote of the day.

Tweeted this today.

"Dreams are to lovers as wine is to friends.

Carried through lifetimes, spilled now and then."

Or in its original language,

"Les rêves des amoureux sont comm’(e) le bon vin
Ils donn(ent) de la joie ou bien du chagrin."

Camille - Le festin.

And oh yeah,

i'm a sucker for french and jazz.

and google translate.

Off i go,

muSHAdool.

Day 3: A boy and a girl, just like i wanted.

I only saw this..

Dunno what it means.

I'm still 18, so not ready for a marriage. Not even ready for a boyfriend.

But i guess..

it's always good to know my future is bright :)

and that's... day 3.

Off i go,

muSHAdool.

Someday, i will :)

Have you ever loved a song so much you feel like posting the lyric everywhere?

So, here it is. The song of my life. Period.

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I'm not surprised.
Not everything lasts.
I've broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track.
Talk myself in.
I talk myself out.
I get all worked up, then I let myself down.

I tried so very hard not to lose it.
I came up with a million excuses.
I thought I thought of every possibility.

And I know someday that it'll all turn out.
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out.
And promise you, kid, that I'll give so much more than I get.
I just haven't met you yet.

I might have to wait.
I'll never give up.
I guess it's half timing,
And the other half's luck.
Wherever you are.
Whenever it's right.
You'll come out of nowhere and into my life.

And I know that we can be so amazing.
And baby your love is gonna change me.
And now I can see every possibility.

They say all's fair.
In love and war.
But I won't need to fight it.
We'll get it right and,
We'll be united.

And I know that we can be so amazing.
And being in your life is gonna change me.
And now I can see every single possibility, mmmm.

I just... haven't met you yet.

Whatta a lyric, Mr. Buble.

off i go,

muSHAdool.

Day 2: "Ur vision should fit in a size S t-shirt." - P. Pringle.

Was just watching a movie,

then, an indescribable thirst and hunger came.

"Get a pen, and a paper."

"Write it down."

and that's... day 2.

Off i go,

muSHAdool.

Day 1 : Xmas Tree.

I saw a 5 years old me..

decorating a Christmas tree,

humming the Christmas songs,

hanging the finest decoration on the tree.

Then, he came.

He helped me hanging the decoration on the tree,

He smiled.

So happy seeing his daughter excited for Christmas.

Suddenly, i looked back.

There were my friends, all of them.

Wearing a Christmas' hat and they were all so happy.

So happy because it's Christmas. As happy as i am.

They shouted, "MERRY XMAS!!"

The girls hugged me, the boys shook my hand.

Then, i saw my family.

They got me Christmas gifts. The well-wrapped gifts.

Then, they were all gone.

I was left alone, alone with him.

He said, "Sit here."

I sat on his lap, put my hand around his neck,

and hoping to hear some wonderful stories.

He asked, "What do you want for Christmas from me?"

I pretended like i have to think about it first.

I already know exactly what i want for this greatest day of the year.

Then i answered, "Just... a clearer vision. from you."

He smiled, and simply said, "you got it."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I opened my eyes.

Tears were all over. Blissful tears.

There's nothing but gratefulness and joy inside.

and that's... just day 1.

Early Merry Xmas to you all.

Off i go,

muSHAdool.

Oh how i hate you, dreadful nights.

Vague.

Blur.

Unsure.

Skeptical.

Denial.

Hesitant.

These words make one simple line:

It still hurts.

People say, time heals.

any wounds.

Well, time didn't do a pretty good job. not to me.

But i'll be fine.

Yes, i freaking will.

Prayer(s),

i count on you.

Off i go,

muSHAdool.

Trip by road.

Went to the "Great Ocean Road" few days ago,

and these are the awesome pics i took.

View from the top.

The famous "12 Apostle" rocks.

The not-so-famous "muSHAdool" ;p

Fish and chips OZ style and size.

SO CUTE!

The beautiful sunset above the cliff.

Lesson?

1. You might think you're big, you might think you have it all, but who are you compared to one big world?

2. God's awesome. Enough said.

Off i go,

the road-trip-lover muSHAdool.

One word: Thankful.

"Thanks for your idea! I got an A in my assignment!"

"I had a dream last night. I can see you finally get your dream job!"

"Promise, we will be good friends always."

"Oh come on, from the way you write, your dream job is a perfect fit for you!"

"Come home quick, we miss you." - said gazillion people.

"When it comes to passion, it's always good to be specific."

"You'll be used by Him greatly one day. you are a blessing to us."

"One day, you'll cry because you're too happy."

"Dear me, always a pleasure talking to you."

(obviously it wasn't me who said this ;p)

Dear the great people around me,

you may not remember you once said this to me,

but it surely meant the world for me.

i thank God for you.

and

I love you.

Hope to see you soon!

Off i go,

muSHAdool.

like a "paranormal activity"

I'm no horror movie fan. I get scared easily.

and i don't get the idea why people would bother to watch it and have their own trouble sleeping at night.

But today, i (kinda) watched one, because a peer pressure,

and i didn't have trouble with it.

because little that people know..

there's one thing, one feeling, that's wayyyy more scary and more frustrating than any horror movie.

it haunts me like crazy.

Holiday oh holiday..

my current muse:

Cafe world. Be my neighbors.

Holiday. It makes you less cool.

Off i go,

muSHAdool.

Quote of the day.

I posted this on my Twitter a week ago,

"Many people think they're different, but at the end, they end up being part of the crowd." 

(Andy Stanley)

Being different than crowd is bloody hard.

But who says it's an impossible thing to do?

Off i go,

muSHAdool.

In awe.

"Just because people disappointed you many times,
doesn't mean I will."

"Just because they come and go,

doesn't mean I will leave you."

"Just because you shouldn't rely on people,

doesn't mean you can't trust Me."

"Lean not to your own understanding and I will make your path clear."

Well-said, King.

Well.. said.

Off i go,

Fatty Queen.

Movie: the least boring teacher.

Like i told my friend few days ago,

"i watch movies to learn."

and movies also seems never failed to give me new insight and valuable lesson.

This time..

the teacher is..

WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS!

It's not this got-drunk-and-got-married-in-vegas scene,

or this..

but it's basically a scene when the slutty ehem cougar ehem sorry! what's her name? oh cameron diaz and ashton kutcher finally wants to stay married after they realized they're in love and yada yada yada..

CC (Cougar Camy): "For so long, i've always tried to please everybody. But by not trying to please you, i think i finally become myself again."

It just struck me that that's what i, you, and most of us been doing.

We always try to please everybody.

We always think that we're not good enough.

I actually took a personality test on blogthings

and the result showed that yes, i always wanted to please my family and friends.

I don't care about other people, i only care about them.

But i suddenly realize,

it's not possible.

I am human,

you are too. 

(Unless you're a frog and you can read this, it's a totally different issue.)

and human make mistakes.

we're allowed to make mistakes.

We can't please everybody. We.. just can't.

Trying so hard to please everybody is TIRING.

I've done it 18 years. Couldn't be more tiring.

So, now i'm gonna go to sleep, take a rest.

Not gonna worry about other people.

I'm not afraid to make mistakes.

because no mistakes, no learning.

Like this very cliche but yet so true statement,

Be yourself. :)

People might not like you,

but it's their loss. really.

"Don't let people to tell you who you are, you tell them!"

- Serena Van der Woodsen to Blair Waldorf.

You know you love me,

xoxo,

Gay Guy

ups

Gay Girl

ups

muSHAdool.

Quote of the day

"A person starts dying,

when they stop dreaming." 

Brian Williams.

Well, according to that quote, I'm pretty much very alive.

How about you? :)

Off i go,

muSHAdool.

My sweet mess.

If there's one word to describe my room, my current room, that would be..

Messy.

Off i go,

muSHAdool.

Oh too much dramaaa!

One thing for sure:

High school drama never ends.

You may not wear the uniform again,

but the drama will never stop.

You can live your life normally,

never intended to make a scene.

But, yet, those people with such a boring life, swoop their way in and made a scene.

Their life is so boring that they have to talk about their friends to make their life a bit better.

Well..

It's a good thing that we don't hang out anymore.

Coz i don't hang out with junks nor backstabber.

and i, myself, have a pretty interesting life :)

And unlike you,

i don't like to backstab my friends. 

One question though..

If you keep on trash-talking your friends,

who will end up become your friends? your real friends?

Don't end up lonely, dear... That's sad.  So sad.

Toodles!

Off i go,

muSHAdool.

Darn you, final exam.

Well, this is not a media talk. Later yah ;-)

This is... a heart talk. LOL!

I'm currently facing final exam (even though i don't feel like facing one. thank God for the very easy exam in OZ ;p)

But still.. if i don't have any final exam, let's see what i could probably doing.

1. I could go to Perth with my sister and my nephew. They're on "Lebaran" holiday.

2. my mom and dad could visit me here. And we could go shopping!! :( They knew i'm having my final exam so they decided to go to Israel. I wanna come too!!!!

3. I could go to Tulip Farm, it's spring here in Melbourne, so seeing flower blooming is.. suhweet! My cousin and my friends asked me to go but i can't :(

4. I could go have lunch with my church friends. Okay, this i can do every sunday. But, still.. worth mentioning... haha.

Hix hix. Bad.. bad timing for final exam.

Okay, enough complaining. More studying. (Yeah, right).

Off i go,

muSHAdoool

Teehee.

Doesn't mean to sound too self-conscious,

but i just realized i've been writing heavy and deep stuff on my blog lately. 

Dunno whether it's a good thing or not (you tell me!),

but I've decided to post and write more general things for upcoming post(s).

And by general, it means LOTS of media talk. LOL.

Wait for it! :)

Off i go,

muSHAdool.

Less of self = Selfless.

Me: Can i share something? 

Him: Go on.

Me: Hehe, i have to admit tho, i'm pretty tired these days. 

Tired of facing self-centered people. 

It's like, all they can say "Didn't you see what i was doing? Didn't you read what i wrote? Didn't you this what i that. I this, i that, i those, i these."

Him: HOAAAA, i'm lucky i'm not as open as you do! and euw.. It's so junior high. Abege berat.

I don't think i can handle that kind of people! It's not like i live for read what they wrote or watch every moves they make!

Me: Yeah, once you said, "Use me more.."

this is just another little thing you have to bear, dear.

Him: Yeahh.. true. But i don't think i'll choose that path. Haha.

Me: LOL. Well, everybody has their own path. Don't worry :) 

and thank you for buzzing me first, needed that :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I know i'm tired,

No, i know i'm exhausted.

But i know i'm not doing this for me.

The One i'm doing this for, always reward His faithful servant :)

My tiredness is nothing compared to the Cross.

I have no right to complain.

If complaining makes everything better, i would definitely do it.

But, it doesn't. So, why bother?

Off i go,

muSHAdool.

Pursue your passion!

Her: Can i use your words? I want to make it into a poster and hang it on my wall.

I want to use it as a motivation.

Me: You undoubtedly made my day!!

Her: You'll write a good and inspiring book one day, dear. Everyone will love it.

Me: Let's just say big fat "AMEN!!!" and yeah, you'll get a free autograph from the writer, LOL!

Her:I've read your note abt "The September Issue" that we watched together and i practically just stared on my laptop and wondering, "How could she write some stuff like this?!

Me: awww, thank youu.. You didn't see it coming, eh? Because i was yawning all the time when we were watching yeah? hahaha. Yeah well, i was yawning because i was too tired, not because of i was bored fosho! ;p

Her: I know!

Her: Can you tag me in whenever you write notes?

Me: My pleasure.

Me: Mom, can i change my major? You know i have passion in writing.

Mom: You can do anything you want. Be what you're good at, and do what you're passionate for.

Her: What major are you taking? Business?

Me: *dalam hati (EUW, NO!)* "No, i'm taking Bachelor of Arts (Creative and Professional Writing) 

Her: That's great! Your passion yeah?

Me: It is :)

Well, if there's one thing about passion..

It's tangible.

Everyone can see it, everyone can feel it.

This passion thing has been "bothering" me for the last few days.

I'm connecting the dots..

Movies, TV series (undoubtedly, Ugly Betty), these amazing comments from my friends, sermon, prayers, and even my own writing..

There is no coincidence that they have the same message.

They're reassuring and reaffirming my passion.

Yep, this is my passion. God has put this on my heart.

What's yours, oh thee mighty readers? 

How to know what your passion is?

First, ask.

"If you don't know the meaning behind one painting, there's always someone you can go to.

The Creator." - Jeffrey Rachmat.

Ask the Creator of your life.

Then, pursue it.

It's not only happiness that you have to pursue,

but also passion.

I don't know about you, 

but my greatest desire is when i meet the Mighty king,

He will look me in the eye and say, 

"It was hard, wasn't it? Well done, oh good and faithful servant." 

That keeps me going, i know it will be worth it.

P.S: For those who have given me so many support, 

i assure you, you're investing in the right girl.

Off i go,

muSHAdool.

Push!

Hmm.. still about movies..

this time is..

(I kinda don't like the poster,

 i thought it was like another "Nim's island" or something.)

This movie is very recommended to those who love "Heroes" TV series.

It's still about few people with special abilities and they're on a mission, bala bala balaaaaa.. 

Chris Evans is SO HOOTTTT! No wonder he was "the fire guy" on the Fantastic Four.

Dakota Fanning.. hm.. still need comment? Of course she was good.

Well, 

what i learned?

In order to run, or even fell on your knees,

you just need one push.

Push could be a good one, or a bad one.

I can't say this enough..

Your friend, your surroundings give you influence more than you know.

Once again..

Don't be too nice,

be wise.

Off i go,

muSHAdool.

Quotes of the day.

Watched these on saturday.

"Keep your eyes open, you'll get an inspiration from everywhere." - Grace Koddington.

"Don't be too nice, you'll lose." - Grace Koddington.

If i might add from what Grace Koddington, the creative director of VOGUE US said..

"Being wise is better than (just) being nice." - muSHAdool ;p

And also, from this documentary movie, i learned something..

They, the mighty successful people had a dream when they were at my age.

17, 18, 20..

One simple thing to do if you want to be successful: Have a dream.

Do you have a dream? I have. I'm working on it.

"Don't forget those people who have supported you and brought you to this level." - Kak Yuda.

I loved one busy day.

Toldcha, i'm ready to get back in the game :)

Off i go,

muSHAdool.

Hide and seek no more!

I love music.

I love TV series.

I love DVDs.

Am a sucker for them.

They are my distractions, they are my best of friends.

I was just randomly searching for good songs to download from Limewire.

Then, i saw this song.

"Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap. Soundtrack of the OC."

As a fan of Josh Schwartz and his amazing TV series, 

i downloaded the song right away.

where are we?
what the hell is going on?
the dust has only just begun to form
crop circles in the carpet
sinking feeling

spin me round again
and rub my eyes,
this can't be happening
when busy streets a mess with people
would stop to hold their heads heavy

hide and seek
trains and sewing machines
all those years
they were here first

oily marks appear on walls
where pleasure moments hung before the takeover,

the sweeping insensitivity of this still life..

Aside of its unusual music and lyrics, 

the title itself speaks loudly to me.

This is what i've been doing lately..

Playing hide and seek.

Someone keep on seeking for me,

Someone keep on asking me to do something,

Someone keep on telling me to "Go.. run.. as fast as you used to.."

Someone keep on using every media to send the message.

Songs, musics, lyrics, TV series, 6 different people who prayed for me.

Yet i keep on hiding.

Hiding is safe.

Hiding is comfortable.

But, hiding is surprisingly tiring.

My heart is not at peace lately.

Stubbornness and sloth had gotten in the way.

I've got to be back in the game.

Playing hide and seek is only fun when you're a child.

The more you grow up,

the more you shouldn't hide.

No matter how tough and how hard life is.

Off i go,

muSHAdool.

which one are you?

"I have dreams.. Why can't i get all of them like.. now?"

"Why they can have it all easily? While i have to wait.. and wait.."

"What if i can't?"

"What do i have to do when problems arise?"

"What?"

"When?"

"How?"

"Where?"

"Why?"

In a blink of an eye, suddenly drained.

Opened up my daily reading,

"You don't have to know about tomorrow - that makes you happy.

You don't have to know about yesterday - that makes you happy.

You don't have to know how to do everything,

all you need to do is know the One who knows.

Trying to figure things out will only wear you out."

- Joyce Meyer.

Looked up the title of that daily reading..

"Are you trusting or are you worrying?"

I decided to choose the first one.

Life is meant to be nothing but enjoyed.

Too short for worrying.

Which one are you?

Off i go,

muSHAdool.

What i love from birthdays... THE GIFTS! :)

"You have great friends."

They say.

The gifts!

Not the maker nor the creator. Yet, the poser.

"You look good," said him.

My almost-10-years bestie :)

They rocked my high school! and.. until college of course. :)

Peeps who rocked my night!

"I'm so blessed knowing you for about one year and more! I like to see your friendliness and your passion in reaching your goals! 

I can see that God is working in your life. Continue your walk with Him!

Be wise, be cool, be careful, be nice, be humble, be awesome, BE VENISHA TJIE! Happy birthday."

Mrs. Spare.

"Thanks for being my best friend for the last 10 years. I've been looking for a good friend for 17 years, and no one can compared to you. Thanks for not being such a hypocrite, thanks for never stabbing my back, you always share everything with me. Including fat. Haha.

Once again, thanks for the friendship. Happy birthday.

A friend is the one who walks in when others walk out."

Mrs. Bitchy. hihi.

I do.

But then again, likes attract likes :)

Give, then you'll be given. 

Invest everything, every time, every day, in your loved ones, 

they'll make your birthday unforgettable :)

I am one lucky 18 years old girl.

Off i go,

muSHAdool.

Oh.. finally.

I know i should post the best birthday wishes or the most touching ones, or even the gross ones ;p

But the more i grow up,

The more i learn, to NOT make everything about me.

I know i can, and yeah i know i want to. But nope. I'm not gonna.

These came from all the people around me.

They surely made me smile and definitely made my birthday :)

They're irrelevant, but that's the point :)

"I couldn't have done it without God on my side. Finally, i can release forgiveness to those hypocrites family. I'm now stronger and yet i know it's not because of my strength!"

"I didn't do anything, he did. He opened his heart. He stopped smoking. Finally, he can feel the joy from above."

"Can you keep a secret? I'm about to become a leader!"

"What time do you go offline? I want to share something with you!"

Highlight of the day:

"I got the best gift(s) from God on my bday, i hope you will too.

Happy birthday, Sha."

Came from a lady who have been waiting for almost 10 years to get pregnant.

She finally is. On her birthday. A twin.

Making everything about yourself, even though it's your birthday, is so last year.

It's time to make it about others.

Selfish is out, selfless is in.

P.S: it's amazing seeing how self-centered people can make everything about them.

Their friend is having a birthday, but the subject of the conversation is no different. Always started with an "I."

Hey, relationship works two ways! Oh wait, doesn't matter anyway ;p

Anyhoo,

200++ wall posts,

countless tweets (too lazy to count ;p), smses, email, instant messages and buzzes on MSN.

I am one lucky 18 years old girl. I love you and i thank you, my family and friends.

And.. i miss you.

Off i go,

the finally legal in OZ, muSHAdool.

Daily bread.

"If the canvas struggled under the artist's paint brush,

 the painting would never get finished. 

The canvas have to be perfectly still, totally submitted to the artist's wisdom and creativity.

Struggling won't change you - neither will frustration or worry." - Joyce Meyer, New Day New You (4th August)

To sum it up,

Surrender more,

worry less.

Enjoy life EVEN MORE.

your colourful life :)

Off i go,

muSHAdool.

Max Brenner Cafe, 10 p.m, QV, Melbourne.

The wind blew calmly,

the weather was so nice,

and the city was so amazingly alive even though it's night already.

(it's OZ for crying out loud, the stores close at 5 P.M. ;p)

We were there, just hanging out. 

the dark chocolate,

the Italian milk chocolate,

and the American milk chocolate.

Some secrets were spilled,

dark secrets.

Some privacy were revealed,

the very private ones.

Some crazy imagination were expressed,

the ones we really wanted.

"We did that. At our first month. I know i was wrong."

"I still do that, please don't tell anybody. It's between us only."

"When you first came to Melbourne, i told her, "Hey her english is pretty good!

But guess what, she disagreed with me. I guess she was just envious with you."

"High school was the best, huh?"

"I've always wanted to have that kind of life."

Well..

Good conversation, good friends, good chocolate and good weather,

are the BEST combination.

Everyone has their own reasons, their own stories, their own past.

Listen more,

talk less.

Open more,

Judge less.

That's the key to manage a good relationship :)

"Come on, tell us. We're already like brothers and sister."

Off i go,

muSHAdool.

It's no Oscars but meant a lot :)

Well well well.. Look what i got! Got this award from my girl, Winno my fashion bitch! :)

Award Meaning:
Tutorit Friendship is an award that we give for blog that you think really inspire you and really friendly


Homework to Special Friends :

1. Make a posting about this award
2. Mention who give you this award
3. Gift this award to your best friends or people who inspire you.
4. go to their blog and tell them you have award for them.
5. Do the same thing like who gave you this award.
6. copy and paste from "Begin Copy" until "End Copy" at your own blog


SOOOO now it's my chance to pass along this award toooo my very own fellas' blog that inspire me a lot in many ways :)

This award goes toooooo *DRUM ROLL, PLEASE!!*

Winno Prasetyo herself. 

Henry Gerson 

Larasati Silalahi

Irene Renata 

You can copy paste this to your blog as well :) 

orr give the award back to me. Feel free to do so! LOL.

Off i go,

muSHAdool

Lesson of the day.

Oh thee faithful readers, 

If there's one thing i learned today.. 

Look for a friend who keeps saying,

"Thanks for listening :) It's really nice talking to you!"

even though you are close enough with them, 

when chitty chatty is not really necessary.

but they still keep saying that.

To hell with those who take you for granted,

look for those who treasure you! :)

Off i go,

muSHAdool.

Questions.. and answers.

Me and my folks were just hanging out, and suddenly these questions arise.

Q: Since when you become one?

A: Since i was born.

Q: Do you think good people go to heaven? 

Even though let's say they're an... atheist?

A: For me, it's not about being good or bad. But it's about WHO do you believe in.

Q: Why do you believe He exists?

A: He was there when nobody was. My personal experience told me.

Q: But, somehow i don't believe He's the one who created the universe. 

A: Well, you wear a watch yeah?

Q: Uh huh. 

A: You believe someone created that watch?

Q: Yeah. Then?

A: Just because you didn't see or meet the creator of the watch, 

doesn't mean he doesn't exist, eh? 

Q: But, why can't i feel Him?

A: you have no personal relationship.

Q: What if i want to?

A: Find a perfect "field", where you can grow. 

Faith is like a seed, only in perfect "field" it can grow.

Q: Can i go with you sometimes?

A: Sure.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

During your journey,

there will be time when your faith is being asked.

Don't blame the people who asked,

just hush them with the right answer.

I never declare myself religious, (haha heck no)

but i do love thiskindofsomewhatreligious conversation,

and i do love spreading the truth with the ones i love. 

If I'm growing,

I'm taking my folks with me.  :)

"You can get people to listen, 

if you can get their heart first." - Jose Carol

Off i go,

muSHAdool.